Breast feeding baby doll...

Yes you read that right. Maybe I'm a bit too conservative, but this is ridiculous! Keep in mind the link I provided is from someones personal webpage so the information provided is actually mocking the product.

http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2009/07/babyglutton.html

I'm sorry, but this toy is kinda creepy. I mean, it makes it's own sucking sounds for heavens sake! Really?
Here's the deal folks, there isn't a single woman I know that needed a doll to "teach" them their own bodies feed babies. Are you really going to sit your 3 year old down and explain they've got options in feeding their dolly? Options they probably aren't mature enough to fully understand anyway.
The most ridiculous part of it is the tank top that has the flowers over the boobs that trigger the baby noises. That could have some interesting ramifications down the road. LOL
Anyone seen the movie Now and Then?? There's a scene where a mom explains to her young daughter the birds and the bees and how "all girls have a flower and boys have a watering hose..." and the girl grows up obsessed with gardening. bahahhahahahaa

Thoughts anyone??

Softball Losers!!

I normally don't post personal stuff on here, but I gotta vent a little. We play co-ed softball a couple nights a week, and have pretty good teams and usually make the playoffs and have won several times. On our Thursday night league, there's a particular team notorious for poor sportsmanship, in particular their pitcher. I never seen a bigger whiner/jerk in all my life. So of course we are the two teams to face off last night for 1st place. They show up with a team that is full of people we've never seen all season and they are STACKED! Meaning, they brought in some ringers in a pathetic attempt to win (picture huge guys and meaty chicks). So we asked the scorekeeper and umpire to check ID's to make sure they're all on the roster. Which of course they weren't and were forced to forfeit. HA - HA!! LOSERS!!
But that's not the point of the post. After that, they proceeded to taunt and yell explicits at our team for "chickening out", in particular the loser pitcher, who sucks anyway. BOO FREAKIN HOO LOSERS!! Really?? Cause we're just playing by the rules, not to mention that there are rules for a reason idiots. And if you were smart, you would have had them on your roster (you can actually have like 40 people on your roster for subbing, and you only play with 10). Anyway, it was pathetic and stupid. I couldn't believe how horrible they all were behaving. When Nate and I were getting in our car, the idiot pitcher, flanked by his wife and two young children, very loudly proclaimed for all to hear, "even the girls on that team are a bunch of b*tches." Really? Wow. Way to go guy. Or should I say, cool guy? Cause clearly you are a cool guy, right? Glad your kids were there to hear the way you display your excellent sportsmanship and affection for woman.

I'm glad my husband had the decency to hold his tongue and just get in the car, which took a lot of discipline after hearing some jerk pretty much just call your wife a b*tch.

Totally Inappropriate

Both this post and what it's about is, well, inappropriate. Read on if you dare, but you've already seen the picture so you might as well read on...

We went on a cruise this last week, via the Carnival cruiseline. I don't want to bore you all with all the fun details of the trip, and this blog isn't about my personal affairs anyway. So this post is regarding the picture you see here. This is a picture of what adorned each and every door (with the exception of the cabin doors where you slept). To enter where you dined, shopped, or hung out... you had to "pull" open the door with this handle. Surely the person that designed this either has a sick sense of humor, or is a total perve... or both. Wouldn't you think during the approval process someone would have questioned installing something that looks strikingly similar to male genitalia? The added "pull" to each door only makes it more inappropriate, inadvertantly I'm sure since people need to know which way to open the door so they don't look like idiots "pushing" instead of "pulling". Reality is though, anyone opening a door ends up looking silly anyway by "handling" the door handle. Though it makes for a great story and a good laugh.

I kid you not, one night, one small room was closed off with a sign sitting right in front of the door handles that read, "Closed for a Private Party". bahahahahaahahaa... Really?? LOL Too bad I didn't have my camera on hand.

Those are some hands!

As I was watching the news this morning, a story came on about a blind lady that got assaulted and robbed in her home. There are truly horrible people out there and this post is not an attempt to make light of what happened, but I can't help but find humor in things that go on around me. Here is what I found somewhat amusing about the brief broadcast. Right after the statement of what happened to this poor woman, they proceeded to give a very detailed description of the man who assaulted her, with no mention of other witnesses. Granted there could have been other people around, but then why wouldn't they have done something? So how did they get a description of the man? Since she's blind, I'm guessing this lady must have some hands with ridonkulous super powers to pick up on the fact this guy was white, about 5'7", with brown hair, and blue eyes.

Angry Tears

This post is mostly going to be something only girls can relate to. Why is that when we get really angry, we suddenly have that overwhelming urge to cry? When I'm angry, it sure would be nice to have some dang lasers comin' out my eyes instead of stupid angry tears. Is that too much to ask Lord? How are people supposed to take me seriously when I've got tears and no lasers?

Being a girl is lame sometimes. boo hoo.

Office Rules

I've created a few items that I think should be standardized rules in the work place since apparently common courtesy has lost its place in the world.
1. No reheating sea food in the lunch room. I don't know what it is about reheated seafood, but it somehow always seems to have that nasty fishy smell that may not have been apparent when the dish was freshly made. I'll admit I'm not a seafood enthusiast. In fact, I down right hate it. But you enthusiast can't tell me that when you walk into the lunch room, or even within a 50 foot radius, that you take a whiff of that crap and think, "mmm, that smells good."
2. NO PHONE CALLS IN THE BATHROOM. Really? Really. That phone call just couldn't wait 5 minutes? Everyone has to of experienced this at some point in a public bathroom. But at work? Really? Because it's not some stranger in that stall next to you. I mean, maybe you have little business to do there, but that coworker next to you could blast any minute for all you know! And lets not even discuss sanitary concerns...
3. Hand washing mandatory after bathroom use. What is wrong with people? You're in a public place for heavens sake. Do you not see the risk here? Maybe you're not concerned about contracting contaminants, but the rest of us have noticed your lack of washing and are concerned about receiving YOUR contaminants. And don't even try to sell me on your hand sanitizer. It doesn't replace hand washing, and kills "most" germs, not all, and does nothing to eliminate viruses.
4. Coffee pot culprit - You know who you are! The audacity! To think that some people apparently feel it's beneath them to take 2 minutes to refill the coffee pot and push the brew button after taking the rest of the last pot. Though I'm not a coffee drinker, I've seen my share of victims, and let me tell you, it can be a scary thing to witness when someone hasn't had their cup of joe in the morning and goes to pour a tall mug of nothing.
5. All or Nothing rule. If you're not going to eat the whole thing, say a donut or bagel, DON'T TOUCH IT! Not only does it concern me who may have touched that item to cut it in half, but now I'm disappointed I can't eat the whole thing. So if you're "watching" you're calorie intake, maybe you should just leave the good food for people who appreciate it.
6. No nail clipping. Yes nail clipping, as in finger nail clipping. I can understand a quick clip of a hangnail, but when I hear that "click..click...click..click..." it kinda grosses me out. All I gotta say is how nasty would that be to see someone's nail fling over onto your desk! Nasty! Cause you know when you clip those things it's like the clipper turns into a sprinkler head spraying out nails everywhere.

So maybe I should get a petition going or something... thoughts?

Diaper Changing - a pain or a privilege?

I've got about 13 nieces and nephews and between them all have had my fair share of diaper changing. So I'd say I'm in a position to share my opinion on the subject and state they are not only a pain to change, but a whole lot of nastiness. But something occurred yesterday that led me to believe that there are those who apparently consider it a privilege. Right now you're probably thinking, who in their right mind? This person must be either nuts, or maybe a new parent still relishing all the "new" little moments with their new bundle of joy. On the contrary though. This new found "privilege" (a term I use loosely since I don't necessarily agree) was actually bestowed upon me the other day by the very person whose diaper I was suddenly changing.

You see, my niece Emma (who will be 2 next month) has for whatever reason taken a strong liking to me. I don't see her too often so I'm sort of at a loss for where her attachment comes from. I'm thinking it may be very strongly linked to the piggy back rides. Anyway, my sister and I are sitting in the living room when she tells her mommy she's got "poo poo", which translates as needing a diaper change. So my sister grabs a diaper and wipes and Emma sits down in front of me. My sister drags her over, lays her down and she fusses and squirms while calling out," MB.. MB..", which is what she calls me. So my sister lets go and Emma squirms her way over till she's in front of me and throws her legs up with this huge SMILE on her face. It was as if she were saying, "Congratulations! Moms been stripped of her privileges and I have offered you this once in a lifetime opportunity. Isn't it exciting?" So of course I changed her diaper. Not to mention her mommy was all too willing to relinquish her diaper changing honor. Luckily it didn't end up being a poopy diaper.

So to summarize, most of us consider diaper changing a pain. But it the eyes of a 2 year old, it's apparently a privilege.

How Rude!!!

Picture this and ask yourself "what would I do?":
Lets say you're at El Pollo Loco. Your hubs is in line while you snag a table. There's one guy in front of you and about 4 people behind you, and one cashier ringing up. Now the guy "ordering" apparently doesn't speak or read English and is currently having the cashier give him a run down of the menu and all the different options, literally. You know this because you're husband, who is somewhat patiently waiting in line, speaks Spanish. It's been somewhere between 5-10 minutes, which is a freakin loooong ace time to be at the freakin register (hey I never claimed to be patient when I'm hungry). Anyway, that's not even the point of the story and is really a story of its own..
There's another employee, who appears to be the one taking drive-thru orders since she has a headset on, and is near an unused register. All of a sudden there's this little 8 year old girl with a $10 bill walking up to this employee to order something extra for her huge family that is sitting nearby with a table full of food and the mother standing somewhat nearby shoooing her to the register telling her in Spanish, "it's okay, just ask the lady." And the lady RINGS HER UP!!!
Hold the phones people, did that just really happen? A women had her child cut in front of 5 people and thinks that's okay? What kind of message are you sending your child? Not to mention... HOW RUDE!!!!!!!!!!
And what about the employee? I think I would have pointed that little girl in the direction of the end of the line. Does that employee not see how that might upset some of the other customers? Granted, my somewhat patient/impatient husband used that opportunity to insist that same employee ring him up since she rang up that little girl and "menu" guy was still "ordering" so I guess it was kind of a blessing in disguise.

Who'da thunk it?

I was watching one of those "do it yourself" shows and was schooled in the technique of tightening bolts. This older gentleman was showing another gentleman on how to piece together an electric handsaw. When he was tightening the bolt that held the blade in place he warned, "now don't tighten it too tight". And the other guy naturally inquired, "what would happen if I did?". I'm thinking, well geeze, the blade won't work idiot. But alas, that was not the case and this man was surely full of much more wisdom than I ever could have thought imaginable.
His reply, "well, you see, the problem is it would be too hard to get off." Huh. I honestly didn't see that one coming. Especially since there wasn't even a hint of sarcasm, which would have made the comment very funny. But he appeared to be very serious about it leaving me with the thought... Really?

We're like This!

You know the phrase. It's usually accompanied by the hand gesture of crossing the first and middle finger. I'm sure we've all used it at one time or another. But has anyone ever pondered the gesture itself? I'll admit my mind occasionally drifts in the gutter, but honestly, you gotta admit the gesture is kind of amusing when you think of it the wrong way. hehe

Wouldn't it make more sense just to hold those two fingers up close together, side by side?

I'm just sayin'....

What are you here for?

Ever seen the Blue Collar Comedy tour? Well if you have, you're familiar with the phrase, "Here's your sign!" Seriously I think I have at least a few of those kind of moments every day. But this one was blog worthy.

Me and the hubs are in the process of mattress shopping. So we went to Sit-n-Sleep, a mattress store, naturally. We walk in and are greeted by the sales guy whose first words, very cheerfully I might add, following his greeting is, "So, what are you here for?". Without missing a beat my husband says, "We're looking to buy a new car." bahahahahhahaaaaaaa
HERE'S YOUR SIGN!

I realize the salesman's question was probably more geared toward "what type of mattress are you looking for", but it doesn't take away from how dumb he sounded. haha

ACCESS DENIED!

Not sure if all of you in the work place have experienced internet blocks for websites deemed inappropriate, but my work does. The way it works is if you type in key words, like porn or boobs, a screen will pop up and indicate: ACCESS DENIED!
And then it indicates the catergory it falls under, like Pornography.
So I'm on my way to work and a rock hits my freakin windshield. I'm barely going 35 and so is the vehicle in front of me which apparently kicks up a rock that put a bulls eye the size of a penny on my winshield. So right after I crapped my pants (because the impact was so shockingly loud I jumped), I say to myself, "great, now I gotta have it repaired before it spreads." I get to work and google "windshield crack repair". To my dismay, up pops "ACCESS DENIED!"... categorized under Illegal Drugs. Huh. Really?
Maybe it's protocol to just set these internet barriers to a list of words associated with bad things, which is probably the case. But it begs the question, why? Are there really people stupid enough to look up things at work that could implicate them in illegal situations that would result in arrest? Apparently so. So FYI... be leary about the person sitting next to you at work. They could be a drug dealer.