Hit it!!

I'm sure most of us have heard the phrase "hit it", right? So I'm not going to bother explaining it. But funny story to share of course.
So my soon to be sis-n-law Jen was thrown a bridal shower by my mother-n-law Tracy Saturday. One of Jen's friends brought over these cute paper flowers in a vase that everyone needed to write some advice on for the bride. After the shower, I offered to drive some of her new things over to her apartment down the street and Tracy rode with me. She was holding the vase of advice flowers and started reading them as I drove. Most of them had all the crap you'd expect...don't go to bed angry, pray together, be patient...blah blah blah. And then she read, "Hit It!". To which she said, "Hit it? That doesn't even make sense."
I about DIED all while suppressing the urge to burst out laughing. I wasn't about to school my mother-n-law in slang 101.

American Idol

About a year ago I signed up on a waiting list to attend a taping for American Idol. So finally Friday I got an email for a taping for this week. But I didn't check my email this weekend, so I got the email this morning, clicked on the link to get my vouchers....AND IT WAS ALREADY BOOKED UP!!! Lame. Here's the "please note" section of the email they sent:

PLEASE NOTE: All vouchers are free. Due to the immense popularity of the show, there is a system in place to ensure that as many fans as possible get a fair chance to see the show. Therefore you will only have this one opportunity and then you will be removed from the waitlist. We are unable to make special accommodations. Therefore, if you click on the following link and are sent back to the waiting list because the shows are already full or if you are receiving this email and are unable to attend this date, we suggest you rejoin the wait list any time after Tuesday, March 17th so that we may contact you again as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding.


It pretty much translates as: "We have only 100 seats to fill and emailed 5,000 people. So you better hurry up and click on the link to get your vouchers before someone else does or you won't get to go. And if you're NOT one of the lucky 100 to get a voucher, we will still be taking you off the wait list so you have to sign up again and wait another year."

What a joke.

Facebook Friend Whores

I finally caught the facebook wave. I find the site somewhat NOT user friendly, but whatever. It is a cool place to find old friends without the plethora of teenagers and all the crap associated with myspace. On to the point of this post. Now, is it just me, or is facebook just full of a bunch of friend whores? I admit, I have a horrible memory, so some of these people I'm sure I've spoken to at least once in my life. But honestly, if I gotta scrape my brain to remember who the heck you are, chances are we were never really friends. Sure I was probably nice to you and yada yada yada. But just because we went to the same school/church doesn't qualify you as a friend. Unless we hung out and have at least one memorable moment together, I'm going to say you're only an aquaintance. There, I said it. To all these people that have added me as a "friend" I ask, why? And I know the answer. Your a friend whore. To you I'm just another # on your friend list so that people might think your cooler now by how many friends you have. Or maybe that others will think you're cooler by having me as one of your "friends" on your facebook (haha).
So just the other day I ignored a friend request for the first time. Oh yes people. I can hear you all gasping now. I know, what a mean person. Who would do such a thing? So I've probably burned a bridge. Oh wait, no, there never was a bridge, he was never my freakin friend. I think we may have gone to the beach once with a group of people since he knows my husband through a mutual friend they have. And I'm almost positive I met him before that years ago when he dated my best friends older sister. And suddenly that qualifies as a friend. Well I guess I showed him! haahaha

Note to Self..

Next time I'm debating over buying something, ask the lady to put it on HOLD!!

I love little things like these jars and want to collect them, but they are quite pricey. The tiny size pictured will run you easily around $100. So I'm perusing one of many local antique stores with my hubs and inlaw folks and come across a cute little jar (similar to those pictured but the lid was not quite as ornate) for only $20!! But I was sort of on the fence because the lid wasn't very ornate and had some dents and the jar itself had a little chip in it. But really, for $20, still a steal. There was a sales lady helping me since certain items, like this one, are in a locked case. I handed it back to her to "think" about it. I kid you not, I turned down the next aisle, not even a minute passed yet, and some other lady already had it in her hands and was taking it to the register! She had to have been hovering just waiting for me to put that little jar down. She looked like a seasoned antiquer and will probably turn that jar around and sell it at a higher price. I was so annoyed!! I can't believe I got snaked like that. And everyone in my party was like, "you better get it now before someone else does". grrrrr.... It's like, okay, if I came back a week later, or even the next day, fine. I waited too long. But seriously, 1 MINUTE?? What a joke. It just wasn't meant to be.

So next time you need a moment to think a purchase over, make sure you put your crap on HOLD first! ding dangit.

BEST DAY EVER!!!

So yesterday Nate and I, and Chelsea and Brandon Stewart, sit ourselves down for sacrament. Just your average Sacrament meeting.... NOT!!! We sit down, and then Chelsea is like, I think that's Stephenie Meyers (she says as she discretely points just to the left at the girl sitting in the pew right in front of us). I'm like, no way. But Chelsea is totally sure of it and notes the 3 boys, and then I noticed her husband who I recognized from pictures online. So then Matt Plumber, sitting behind us, gets up (sacrament hadn't started just yet) and taps her on the shoulder to ask if she was Stephenie Meyers (the author of Twilight), to which she nodded in affirmation. And then Nate leans to her and says," you've got a couple of huge fans over here" (nodding toward me and Chelsea). She then quickly turns to briefly smile and give a little wave which made me and Chelsea giggle like little school girls. In fact I giggle even now as I write this. But you could tell she didn't want to be bothered. And I don't blame her, especially with her children there. And if it were me I would expect a little privacy at church. So to answer all your burning questions.... no we did not get an autograph or speak to her out of respect for her privacy and the Sabbath. But OHHHH to be sitting right behind her. What a GLORIOUS DAY!! Best day ever really!! so cool.

And how cool is it to have someone that's no doubt a millionaire now, on vacation, and still gets her family to church?? One more reason for me to admire her. Wow.

On a side note, we get tons of visitors in our ward because we're the nearest church building to Disneyland. First time we've had someone famous like that, but not completely out of the ordinary because of all the visitors our ward gets.

Flight of the Conchords

Do yourselves a favor... go to YouTube and find this group and watch their videos. There's a bunch of them performing live and they are HILARIOUS. By far my favorites are "Business Time" and "Frodo, Don't Wear the Ring". Both have an actual music video, but be warned the Business Time one appeared to have briefly shown one of them nude, but blurred out, so you may want to just look for their live performance (although the lyrics kind of vary so the actual video is funnier in my opinion). And the Frodo one is only hilarious if you've seen the LOTR movies (Lord of the Rings). Soooooo freakin funny people. Please, seriously, if you need a good laugh, you will die of laughter. And if you don't, you're dead inside.

Oh, and if you haven't seen Achmed the Terrorist, look for that on YouTube too. It's a vantrilliquist performance that is ridiculously funny.

Michaels Coupon

So I'm in the break room at work and notice a couple Michaels coupons on the table for 15% off. So I'm like, sweet! So I take one and then notice, it expired two days ago. Now, today was the first day those coupons made an appearance in the break room, meaning someone had to of just put them there. Who the heck puts out expired coupons? lame.

Morning Snack

So Nathan is on a cooking kick. Don't mind that at all and he's whipped up some tasty dishes thanks to the Food Network. So this morning he was making a marinate with oranges and whatever else. He only used half the orange so I helped myself to the other half for a morning snack. Took one, tiny bite and was done. Too sweet for the morning? no. Already full from breakfast? no. Too garlicky? huh. What would provoke me to make such a ridiculous suggestion? Oh maybe because my husband was savvy enough to spare getting another knife dirty in the morning and only used one to cut both the garlic and the orange. Lovely. I can still taste the stupid garlic...
So not tasty this early in the morning.

Nothing new...

Saw Twilight. ( I won't mention how many times, but it was more than once) - LOVED IT! Yes, it had some cheese filled parts and some lame special effects (what do you expect with a low budget film), but all in all I loved it and can't get enough of it. I'm totally beside myself as to why the infatuation. But it makes me happy so who the heck cares, right? I think Nate might think I'm a little nuts, but he understands since he can relate with LOTR.... and I'm pretty sure my nuttiness totally amuses him. He only feeds the fire when he tells me he's Edward and starts spewing out lines from the movie... you guys have no idea how lame we really are... well except Katie....we could probably make millions on our own reality show with a camera following us around all day.

Halloween

I'm a little late on my post, but here are the pictures of me at work in my costume. I made an outhouse out of a box and made fake legs to create the illusion of me sitting. It was hotter than heck in there and not remotely functional for the work place, but totally worth it for the laughs alone. Took 1st place for funniest costume and won $50!! Woo HOOO!! And it only cost $5 to make. Feel free to add captions in the comment section and indicate what pic it's for.. (The pictures look a little weird cause I messed with them a little in photoshop...)

Dying of Laughter at the Moment....

So I have a coworker that has horrible broken English when it comes to emails. Usually I can figure out what the email's about. This one had me and my manager crying from laughter!!! Pay close attention to the very last sentence. You may need to read it twice!! LOLLLLLL What makes it even a little funnier is she works in Human Resources.

I send you the payroll for this week, next week Martha is taking Monday , Tuesday and may be Wednesday, so if you have any questions please way she comeback jajajajajaja, no you know you can always come on me ,


Translation: I've sent you the payroll for this week. Next week Martha is taking Monday, Tuesday, and maybe Wednesday off, so if you have any questions, please wait until she comes back. hahahahaha. No, you know you can always count on me.

Pay Day

If you didn't already know, I work in payroll. And on pay day's, we're a little old school here and actually hand deliver everyone's paycheck. How nice, I know. Maybe you're fortunate to have this nice face to face contact with your payroll rep, so let me just point out some annoyances you may want to avoid.
For whatever reason, every pay day I'm guarenteed to have at least ONE employee say one of the following things to me:

"Oh, my name is 'so and so' (the name of an executive)." First of all, I know everyone's name so don't do me the injustice by trying to play me for a retard. Second, I would be an IDIOT if I didn't know who the executives are to which even if I didn't know your name (measly no name employee not important enough to remember) I sure as heck know it's not the name of the executive you just named. And just know that even though I give you a good convincing giggle, I'm giggling at the funny names I'm calling you in my head and not your lame joke that I've heard about a gazillion times.

"How about next time you add a few zeros to my check." To which I usually reply, "No prob. I'll be sure to add it after the decimal." I don't mind this question so much since I'm able to deliver my line and make my getaway while they're still figuring out what I just said. But still, it gets old, so don't bother asking.

"Oooh, it's my favorite person." You don't gotta lie to kick it. I'm paid to pay you so there's no need to patronize me.