July 2, 2008

Meanest Person Ever..

Okay, sometimes I feel like the meanest person ever because I have these mean thoughts that I not only sometimes share with others, but I think they're funny, which is why I share them. So feel free to judge...here's the latest and greatest mean thought...

So I share an office with another employee (a one man office I might add). Among other annoyances I've maybe ranted about before (like the stupid radio), I have a new one to add to that list. And maybe you all think I'm mean for having a list, yeah, I'm not going to argue. But when you share a tiny office with someone else, you'll find your own list writing itself.

Anyway, she ALWAYS has a desk full of wintergreen lifesavers mints, a flavor I too enjoy on occasion. And she eats them all day long. So not only do I have to hear her crunching on those things all day, but it friggin smells like bengay in here, ALL DAY LONG!! I used to love wintergreen. Now... not so much.

AND THEN..... one day, I happened to have a few pieces of candy (the little bite size snickers if you must know). So as I was unwrapping my third piece, and then my coworker says,"another candy? you must be addicted to candy."

First of all, who the hell says that???? I was like, REALLY?? I'm addicted to candy?? And what the freak have you been poppin all day long stupid.

By the way, we just got out of a quick meeting with our manager who had a bottle of pepsi on her desk. My coworker, no joke, at point blank, asked, "is that a pepsi?" No, it's a friggin rocket I plan on sending into space. What the heck do you think????????? HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!! ahahahahahahahahahahaa

(I don't want to imply that she's unintelligent or anything since for the most part I know she is intelligent. But c'mon, who says that?)


JM said...

Man, wish I'd been there. "No, it's a Coke...I just think Coke is pretentious, so I pour it into this Pepsi bottle." Here's your sign. LOOOOOOOOVE IT!

And you seriously tell the BEST stories, MB, you candy-addict, you. Ben Gay. Remind me never to come visit you in your office...

(By the way, as you can tell from the dark side, you're not the only one with mean thoughts. Hee. Hee.)

Ty & Emily said...

Before you even mentioned the word Ben Gay that thought had popped into my head. I can just imagine the smell. On the bright side...at least you don't share an office with a smelly guy! That would really suck!!!!

Daniel said...

You know what's actually sad is that people like her aren't self-observant enough to realize how they're coming off to others. I know so many people who aren't truly dumb or evil (well, we all are a little), but the things they say totally ostracize them from the rest of the normal world. Anyway, maybe you really are a candy addict, I mean, THREE bite-size Snickers! That's like nearly half a regular size.

Kristine Van Buskirk said...

Stew and I were busting up! Awesome story! We love reading your stories. They are funny and are so real! This one was a LOL!