Where's Waldo

We were lucky enough to score free tickets to last nights Angel game. Before the game I sometimes like to try and get autographs from the players. As I was perusing the OC Register online, I came across this photo and found myself in it. Can you find me?? :)
I got Sean Rodriguez's autograph. Wish it was Torii Hunter, but oh well.

By the way, Yankee games at Angel stadium suck. Half the crowd is Yankee fans. Totally annoying. And what's even lamer is they only cheer for A-Rod and Jeter. Whoop-dee-do. Too bad you sucky Yankee fans won't see your precious Yankees in the playoffs! ahahaahahahahahaa
GO ANGELS!!!!!!!!!

BEHOLD....

No this isn't some picture I got off the internet. The is in fact the office in which I work. Let me just point out that where each chair is, there is an immediate wall behind it. It's a one-person office with two people jammed in. Lovely. And don't even think about, "oh there must be a better way to situate the desks." Been there done that, and sadly this IS the best way. My desk is on the right. If you look closely, you can see my Scioscia bobble head. And if you look even closer, you'll notice my coworkers GAY dodger helmet on top of her monitor. I'm soooo tempted to just give it a good flick....

So now you can see how one might get super dang annoyed by the constant smacking of the gum. By the way, I thought I was being clever today, but was apparently a little too vague. She was smacking her gum, as usual, and since my monitor is stratigically placed to block my view of her, I can pretend to not know what she's eating, so I asked naively, "oh, what are you eating?" To which she said, "nothing. I just have some gum." I thought that it was pretty clear that it was so loud maybe you should shut your mouth! But she didn't take the hint. So next time I'm going to have to just spell it out. I don't know why I haven't yet. I guess I just have a hunch that it will piss her off... which I admit would make me feel good--vindicated really. But the fact remains, I share a tiny office with her and it would get really awkward. Anyway, I'm pretty close to not caring these days. I'll post if I ever gather the balls to do it. The thing is, "any week" now, which we've heard for about a month, we're supposed to relocate into separate cubicles. Holy will be THAT day. So I've been trying to keep cool, but my nerves are wearing thin...

How about... I don't think so, stupid!

So I could write a book about the annoying lady I share an office with (by the way, pictures to come showing just how small the office we share is) but it would take me way too long, so I pick and choose my stories. (names changed to protect the innocent) Here's one for the books:
Last Friday (a payday for us) we had an audit that required all employees to present ID to pick up their checks. So today, an employee approaches my office coworker for his check. She checks his ID and begins flipping through the checks. Coming up empty she asks, "you're last name is Jones, right?" To which he replies, "no, it's Walker." (right, not eeeeven close and by now she should know these peoples names). Laughing at herself she says, "and I just checked your ID." The gentleman lets out a chuckle, all while I roll my eyes. But that's not the point of my story, as good as that story is. After stating 'and I just checked your ID', she then proceeds to say, "that's how good we are here." I'm sorry, did you just say WE???????????????!! It took all my energy to bite my tongue. How about.. I don't think so, STUPID!!!!!!! lakkej#@jld%*&ald!!!!

What a Skeezy Beast!!

First of all, I'll never understand (even if I wasn't mormon) why any girl would want to wear a skirt that seriously barely covers her butt checks due it's shortness in length. It would be annoying to be constantly conscious of keeping your goodies out of everyone's view. But then I guess those type of girls like their goodies out there for all to see. That must be it. They may as well be ringing a dinner bell with that easy access.
Case and Point: Nate and I had the luxury of having one of these skanks sitting behind us at the Angel game Wednesday, slightly to the right of Nate. One wrong turn of his head would have been fatal (due the beating that would have been initiated by me). Thank goodness he has manners.
So the skank leaves with her friend and then return a short while later. They proceed to walk down our isle, and then to my disgust, hop on the seat that's two seats over from me and climb up to their seats. And the skank was coming toward us at an angle because they were sitting on the other side of Nate, so she went all SPREAD EAGLE on us. Holy friggin CRAP!! She just put us on BLAST with her spread eagle! Thank goodness Nate was focused on the game. I was almost in shock at how blatant she was about what she did. I was like, "what kind of frickin skeezy beast does that??" Nasty whore, that's who. I was two seconds away from ramming her friggin crotch with my water bottle. Seriously, who just spreads eagle like that?? I could have killed her for putting my husband in a situation where he could have turned his head at the wrong moment, not wanting to see that any more than i did, and then she probably would have been thinking, "oh yeah baby, see what you're missing out on. You totally want me." Cause you know that skeezy beast was looking for some sort of reaction from him. I was totally peeved.
And then her and her lame friend kept trying to get people to cheer, and nobody would and the whore said, "geeze, what a bunch of boring fans."
I was really close to saying,"I guess we're all still trying to swallow the vomit in our mouths after seeing your rotten cheese from the lack of skirt you're wearing." I bit my tongue though. There were children around.

Butterface

You've heard the saying....she's a "butterface (but her face)... meaning everything else looks good but her face. So I was catching up on the latest gossip at USMagazine's website which had this picture posted asking for you to vote which one was the hottest. Phelps is by far the least attractive (and thank goodness his grill ain't showin'). The guy on the right looks gay and I'm not big on the whole jungle fever thing anyway. Which brings me to the guy on the left. He's pretty good looking I guess. Maybe it would be easier to judge if he weren't right next to Phelps. But what the heck is up with the skull necklace???

Nachos Please

When I go to an Angels game, my favorite thing to get are the nachos. LOVE THEM!!! $5 bucks for about the portion you see pictured, which is filling, but kinda pricey. To be expected at a ball park. So before the game we went to Monday, I took matters into my own hands...

I went to the store and bought a can of my very own nacho cheese for $7 bucks! Now you might be thinking that's alot to pay for a thing of nacho cheese, but picture about a gallon worth and then you'll realize the bargain here!! It turns out they only sell the ginormous size cans of it, and I'm okay with that. And I shoud point out that it's only 7 grams of fat per quarter cup. So I am not feeling guilty for indulging at all.

So now I have a huge tupperware in the fridge full of nacho cheese and our RS had this summer picnic thing the other night that was potluck, so I of course bust out the delicious nacho cheese.

It wasn't an enrichment activity, but a thing this one lady hosts in her backyard every summer. So the host is at the food table and i'm standing there loading my plate with my friend Jessica, when the host throws out there, "wow, who brought all that cheese?" trying to sound curious, but probably more disgusted. Mind you her sign up sheet on Sunday was labeled "healthy sidedishes" and I'm thinking, hello, only 7 grams of fat per quarter cup!. Geeze lady, just trying to share the wealth, you're welcome.

So without missing a beat I owned up to the cheese and told the fun story of how it came about. She didn't seem any more pleased than before, not that I cared, it makes for a great story.

And here's a little irony for you... Considering the likelihood of her being a bit disgusted with the cheese from her comment, I found the main dish she provided a bit counterproductive... hot dogs. I don't know if you can get any more unhealthier than that. So excuse me for trying to make things a little more healthy at the picnic. lolllll

Moment of Silence Please..

Lackey missing his throwing arm, Vlad missing both arms (and bat), Hunter missing an arm,
and Figgins... an arm, hand, leg, head cracked open and knocked off the foundation he was once positioned on.















































Now I know the news didn't broadcast any casualties from the quake. But when I came home, I found our poor Angel bobbleheads in pieces. I mean, hands and feet and crap all over the place!! It was like WWII erupted in our second bedroom. Two out of the six were practically unscathed leaving four in need of repair. I've managed to glue them all back together. Though Chone Figgins took the hardest hit and may be permanently on the disabled list. I found him missing a hand, arm, leg and half his helmet crushed in pieces. I glued most of him back together but he still has a good size hole in his helmet where the pieces were to small to glue back in.
I guess that's what happens when you live in Cali and don't secure your precious bobbleheads that sit on top of a shelf that sits on top of your desk, to where a good shake will cause them to fall and shatter on the desk.
Stay tuned for pictures...



By the way, we had lots of other things all over the place with minor broken items, but here's a weird one. We have this beautiful faux Tiffany lamp on our nightstand (with an all glass lamp shade). We came home and found it on the ground right next to the nightstand, standing perfectly up right, as though someone had just placed it there. We knew the quake knocked it down there, but it was kinda eerie seeing it so perfectly situated on the floor. Like someone was there to catch it and set it down....
But then we realized how it got to that position. Of course the quake knocked it off the stand. And the stand is about 2 feet from the wall, and next to the wall Nate had his tool bag, which is kinda like a tool box, but made out of some sturdy, but soft material. When I inspected the area, right above the tool bag there was a good size nick in the wall. So the lamp apparently tipped over off the nightstand and on it's way down hit the soft tool bag, nicked the wall, and the impact knocked it upright on the floor. Crazy! And crazy that the lampshade didn't bust at all 'cause even though the tool bag is somewhat soft, it had all kinds of tools poking out all over.
Anyway, it was cool. I should be a detective.

Before you Panic...

No doubt you felt the jolt around noon today. I read it was only 8 feet below the surface so no wonder it felt a million times bigger than 5.4 magnitude. Anyway, just thought I'd pass on some info for future reference, ya know, when the "big one" hits... or any disaster for that matter. I haven't been able to confirm this, but it makes logical sense. Many of us today after the big shake instantly turned to our cellies only to be disappointed that they didn't work. I heard that Verizon (not sure what other networks) goes "off line" for about 30 minutes following a disaster to keep lines open for 911 emergency calls since in disasters people tend to instantly jump on the phone and clog up the network which causes some calls, including emergency calls, to not get through . I would assume your cell should be able to dial 911 during that time, but no other numbers.

I think our first instinct when the phone doesn't ring out is to kinda panic and worry about that person being severely hurt and their phone is broken since it's not ringing, and all these wild ideas play out. When in reality, even if they were hurt and their phone got crushed and no longer worked, your call would still at least go straight to voicemail. So I guess, you might have reason to panic if all you get is voicemail. Ookay, I hope I didn't just cause you all to panic. You get my point.

Introducing Barbie the WHORE

Her official name: Black Canary Barbie ------- if that doesn't scream HOOKER, I don't know what does. And is it just me, or does she look a little anorexic?? Or maybe her weight is a little low from her crack addiction and all the running she does from her pimp. Apparently, this barbie is made after a popular comic book character, the Black Canary, but I don't think that makes it OK by any stretch of the imagination. And how many little girls read comic books anyway to where the toy industry would see a real opportunity here??

By the way, she is for real, and for sale for about $40 at Toys R Us.

Dang, I didn't know hookers were so cheap!

Hands Free Law

So everyone knows about the new law. Maybe this already occurred to you too...While I was watching the news July 1st, the newscaster was interviewing a police officer about the new law and asked about texting, something I was curious about as well. Turns out, there's nothing in the new law prohibiting texting, let alone a law of it's own. Call it ironic? Or hypocritical maybe? Not sure what to call it, but it sure doesn't make sense. I can't help but feel texting is a million times more dangerous to do while driving than having the dang phone in hand. At least when the phone is in my hand i still have one hand on the wheel and BOTH FREAKIN EYES ON THE ROAD. So unless you have some crazy talent that allows you to look down with one eye and the other on the road all at once, this is the dumbest law ever. Way to make the roads safer law makers. How can I repay you? How about with this hilarious video!!

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-42985#


By the way, the cop mentioned there is a law that allows cops to pull you over and write tickets for driving distracted, which he tied into people texting. Not that I'm a genius, but wouldn't that law cover the whole driving with a cell in my hand? Granted the cell phone law was probably instituted so they can fine you more for it, but that doesn't sound as funny as noting there's already a law covering it.

Meanest Person Ever..

Okay, sometimes I feel like the meanest person ever because I have these mean thoughts that I not only sometimes share with others, but I think they're funny, which is why I share them. So feel free to judge...here's the latest and greatest mean thought...

So I share an office with another employee (a one man office I might add). Among other annoyances I've maybe ranted about before (like the stupid radio), I have a new one to add to that list. And maybe you all think I'm mean for having a list, yeah, I'm not going to argue. But when you share a tiny office with someone else, you'll find your own list writing itself.

Anyway, she ALWAYS has a desk full of wintergreen lifesavers mints, a flavor I too enjoy on occasion. And she eats them all day long. So not only do I have to hear her crunching on those things all day, but it friggin smells like bengay in here, ALL DAY LONG!! I used to love wintergreen. Now... not so much.

AND THEN..... one day, I happened to have a few pieces of candy (the little bite size snickers if you must know). So as I was unwrapping my third piece, and then my coworker says,"another candy? you must be addicted to candy."

First of all, who the hell says that???? I was like, REALLY?? I'm addicted to candy?? And what the freak have you been poppin all day long stupid.

By the way, we just got out of a quick meeting with our manager who had a bottle of pepsi on her desk. My coworker, no joke, at point blank, asked, "is that a pepsi?" No, it's a friggin rocket I plan on sending into space. What the heck do you think????????? HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!! ahahahahahahahahahahaa

(I don't want to imply that she's unintelligent or anything since for the most part I know she is intelligent. But c'mon, who says that?)

Afraid to go into the Water??

If you aren't, well, maybe after reading this...too bad there's no picture. Click on the picture below to read how big the fish was...
I guess the clicking on the pic doesn't work. Basically a 6 1/2 foot long catfish was found dead. It apparently tried to eat a soccer ball, which got stuck in the fishes mouth, eventually killing it.
To put the size of that thing in perspective, if it had legs, it would be taller than my husband.